19-year-old daughter refuses to babysit three half-siblings after dad asks her to help his wife, dad gets the rest of the family involved: 'He's trying to dump his problems on me'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 23, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

If you want to have many children, but counting on the older ones to help out with the younger ones, maybe don't have many children.

Older kids are not there to bear the responsibility over their younger siblings. The fact that they are the oldest shouldn't affect their own childhood, and they shouldn't be expected to 'help out' just because they are there. They are kids just as much as their younger siblings, and to put is as simple as possible–it's just not fair.

No one can blame those older kids when they finally stand up to their parents in that matter. They shouldn't have to put up with always being on call as the family babysitter, and they shouldn't keep quiet about it either. When they stand up to their parents and say "Hey, it's actually not my responsibility to take care of your kids", they are the ones who teach their parents a thing or two about accountability, and that is a lesson everyone should learn.

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  • That is also the lesson the 19-year-old daughter in this story is trying to teach her dad. A dad who not only cheated on the 19-year-old's mom, but also got remarried, had three more children, and is now asking for favors from his eldest.

    Luckily, the eldest is not quick to oblige. Keep scrolling to read what we mean by that.

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    Cheezburger Image 10482903808
    via cottonbro studio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to babysit my half-siblings and telling my dad I‘m not his „backup mom“?"

    Hi Reddit, I (19F) think I might have gone too far, but I need some outside perspective. For context, my parents divorced when I was 12
    via YourMely
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    because my dad cheated on my mom with a younger woman, Emily (now 31F). It was a messy, ugly divorce, and my relationship with my dad has been strained ever
    via YourMely
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    since. He married Emily pretty quickly, and they now have. three kids under 5. Ever since the kids were born, he's been constantly asking me to "help out" with babysitting.
    via YourMely
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    I live with my mom and go to college full-time while working part-time to cover my expenses. Despite that, my dad calls me almost every week, begging me to come
    via YourMely
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    over and "bond with my siblings" by babysitting. He says Emily is overwhelmed and needs a break. I honestly don't care-l never wanted siblings, and I'm still not over
    via YourMely
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    the fact that his affair blew up our family. I've told him I'm busy with school and work, but he keeps guilt-tripping me, saying things like, "Family takes care of family."
    via YourMely
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    Last weekend, he called again, practically demanding I babysit because Emily had a "mental breakdown." I lost it. I told him, "I'm not your backup mom. You chose to
    via YourMely
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    have more kids, and that's not my responsibility." He got quiet and then said, "I thought you were more mature than this," before hanging up on me.
    via YourMely
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    Now, both he and Emily have been sending me messages, calling me selfish and saying that I'm abandoning my family. My grandma even chimed in, saying I should
    via YourMely
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    "help my father in his time of need." But I feel like he's just trying to dump his problems. on me because he made bad choices.
    via YourMely
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    My mom thinks I did the right thing, but now half my family is ped at me. AITA for refusing to help and saying what I did?
    via YourMely
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    Incoming call DAD Mobile
    via nikolay100

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    shammy_dammy NTA. You're right, they choose to have three more kids. That's on them. They need to work out their own crop. Grandma sounds like she's volunteering, though. Give Emily her number.
    via shammy_dammy
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    CurrentConference310 NTA. Your half siblings are not your kids, you are not responsible for them and your dad is being the AH. He is trying to guilt trip you in to looking after his kids, that he decided to have! He is also driving a wedge between you forming a proper
    via CurrentConference310
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    bond with your siblings in your own time. If Emily is having such a hard time maybe they should look at getting some paid help...or your grandma can help as she's so involved in this situation.
    via CurrentConference310
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    ParticularPath 7791 Not the AH. Your dad is a huge cheating AH and so is his affair partner. They need to take care of their own kids, You focus on you, your job, schooling and your mom.
    via ParticularPath7791
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    lapsteelguitar Find out what the going rate for baby sitting in your area is, and charge him twice that. At 19yo, you are old enough to choose your family, just as your
    via lapsteelguitar
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    father chose his. You are not responsible for the family he chose. Stay strong. ΝΤΑ
    via lapsteelguitar
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    Away-Elephant-4323 NTA your dad isn't even considering the fact you have work and school and your own life, this is his responsibility not yours!
    via Away-Elephant-4323
  • 21
    Mirabai503 "Family takes care of family." Except he didn't think that way when he was cheating on his wife and blew up his family.
    via Mirabai503
  • 22
    mommacrossx3 NTA......" but family.." is pretty rich coming from a guy and side chick who broke up his family He made a series of choices..... cheating, divorce, having more kids etc. He can deal with the consequences.
    via mommacrossx3

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family drama aita baby babysitter kids mother siblings reddit story parenting babysitting divorce family sister daughter Reddit parents children Father
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